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Archive for August, 2013

When you know precisely what your touchstone desire is, you may be able to experience it right now.  For example, suppose you seek a promotion at work because you feel earning more money will bring you more peace of mind.

However, it is quite possible that a promotion at work would result in more stress in exchange for higher pay. So you would not experience increased peace of mind, which is your real desire.

When you clarify that more peace of mind is your real desire, you may find better ways to enjoy increased peace of mind.  For instance:

  • Taking up meditation
  • Getting debt free
  • Starting a part time business

These things may enable you to experience your true desire and avoid things you don’t want, such as more stress

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Check out this unusual and inspiring twist on debt collection. This is taking the business collaborative approach to a new level.

s.hbr.org/19ntcF7

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When we embed suggestions into ordinary conversation, we reduce resistance to them. The suggestion may be emphasized by saying it in a louder voice.  The suggestion may also be strengthened by varied vocal tones, hand gestures etc. Embedded suggestions can be powerful influencers. Such suggestions are sometimes called “embedded commands”. However, it is not accurate to call them “commands”. The word “command” implies that recipients have little choice but to obey. That is not true.

Outside the military and a few other settings, commands are not a good way to achieve the results we seek. People instinctively resist commands, even when we command ourselves to do something.

Embedded suggestions should be used repeatedly, using different words, to be effective. Though they are usually advocated as a means of to influence others, it is an excellent idea to begin using embedded suggestions on ourselves.

When using embedded suggestions to influence others, it is crucial to have good intentions and influence people only in ways which benefit them.  People are fine with being influenced to do what benefits them. However, people despise those who influence them to act against their best interests.

The following are examples of embedded suggestions. The suggestion is capitalized:

Many people enjoy the results when they DO IT NOW.

It would work out well if you’d CALL ME TOMORROW.

If you BUY ME LUNCH, we can discuss it further.

What’s it like when you FEEL VERY HAPPY?

After doing their research, they decided to BUY FROM ME.

 

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Although biases are sometimes associated with racial and other prejudices, many biases serve us well. In fact, they’re absolutely necessary. We’d never get out of the house, in the morning, if we had to think through each of the enormous number of decisions we confront every day.

We need to adopt biases which increase our self esteem and make us feel good.  What biases make you feel good?

Examples:

Bias towards believing most people like you

Bias towards believing things will work out well

Bias towards believing you are resourceful and up to almost any challenge

What other biases empower you?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

These are biases you want to keep.

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