Many performance experts estimate success is 80% mindset and 20% activity. This makes sense. If hard work was the most crucial component, the most successful people, in every field, would be the hardest workers. Even the most casual observation demonstrates this is not true.
Our mindset has an enormous impact on every aspect of our lives from career to love. A positive mindset paves our way to everything we want in life, while a negative one constantly drags us down, like a millstone, around our neck.
It is often said that you can adopt a new mindset in 21 days of doing daily positive affirmations, watching subliminal videos and/or similar activities. Is this true? Let’s look at an example.
You are 35 years old and you have a common mindset that “you weren’t meant to do anything big?”. Or your mindset could be “you’re basically a timid person”. Or some other limiting mindset. You know it isn’t compatible with the career and life you want. You want to get a new one.
Score one for you. You awareness puts you well ahead of the majority, who never question their limiting mindset. But, can you replace it with a more positive one in just 21 days?
Not likely. The unwanted mindset has had 35 years to take deep root in both your conscious and subconscious It has built fast, efficient neural pathways throughout your nervous system. It has become your automatic thought pattern. It is part of you.
Your mindset has also shaped your world. There is something called confirmation bias, which causes us to notice and attract people, information and experiences into our lives, which confirm our biases. Not only do your thoughts reflect the unwanted mindset. Your environment reflects it too.
This means you tend to read books, watch movies, listen to conversations, vote for politicians, belong to unions, have friends etc. who reflect your present mindset. Generally, your whole world confirms and reinforces it. It will not go away easily. To believe you can completely replace it in just 21 days is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
You Need a Scorched Earth Policy
If we are serious about adopting a new mindset, we need to adopt a scorched earth policy towards everything that fights against it. This means making changes in what we read and expose ourself to, how we spend our time and, above all, the people we hang out with.
Nothing has a stronger influence on a person than the people they spend the most time with. As Jim Rohn famously noted;“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” We can’t succeed in changing an unwanted mindset as long as we surround ourselves with people who reflect it.
Hanging out consistently with the wrong people drags us down, and makes it impossible to adopt an improved mindset. Hanging out with the right people will do much of the heavy lifting of adopting your desired mindset. Such people make positive change natural and almost effortless. So we need to be choosy about what we accept in our lives and even choosier about who we spend time with. This means ending or reducing relationships with people with unwanted mindsets.
It Takes Real Sustained Effort to Change Your Mindset
Truthfully, it could take two or three years of sustained effort to fully adopt a new mindset. Beginning to adopt a new mindset is like crawling on a dirt road versus zipping along on the fast, smooth superhighway of your old mindset.
You should expect slow progress, as your new mindset takes root. Most of your early victories will be small. Barely perceptible, in fact. Your early changes whisper to you. They don’t shout. For instance, you find yourself thinking just a little more confidently than you used to. You find yourself being a little more proactive, without thinking about it. You find yourself seeking challenges you used to avoid.
Slowly your new mindset begins to compete with the old unwanted mindset. It scores a few victories here and there. You cheer it on. This inspires you to increase your efforts and determination. Change come in stages; bit by bit. Celebrate each small and large victory along the way! Of course, there is never a final destination, but the journey is much more fulfilling in every way!
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