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Posts Tagged ‘“No”’

When a company make a job offer; the offer is normally open for a set period of time. The offer is rescinded if it is not accepted within the time limit.
This makes sense. If the prospective employee does not accept the job offer on a timely basis; it indicates that he/she is not enthused about the job and perhaps inconsiderate too. Companies want enthusiastic employees, who are happy to work with them. Why work with the unwilling and unhappy?
The same is true about us in our personal lives. Why would we want unenthusiastic business partners, companions, friends, dates, lovers etc.?
When we make an offer; there are two desirable outcomes:
1. It is enthusiastically accepted
2. It is politely declined
If someone wants to think about our offer; they don’t want it that much. After all; nobody has to think about whether or not they want to pick up their lottery prize! If you really want something, you don’t need to think it over.
If our offer is not accepted with enthusiasm, we ought to rescind it. Just like companies rescind employment offers. This is an act of mercy both for us and the unenthused recipient. It frees up our time to spend with someone more enthusiastic. It frees the other party of the need to make an excuse.
We need not make a big deal out of rescinding an offer. Just say something simple such as, “I rescind my offer. It is not a good idea”.
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The world is full of genies, in human form, who can give you what you want.  Quite often, we are the genie ourselves. There are many things we can grant ourselves.  In fact, the things we can give ourselves are the most important. Examples include; more self love, more self respect, more leisure, more relaxation, more appreciation.

Many of our problems stem from fear of asking for help. We feel we must do everything on our own. Most people like to be asked for help. Many people want to help you and take pleasure from doing so.  They find it esteem-boosting. Interestingly, studies show that people like other people more after doing them favors. The theory is, after doing you a favor, people have something invested in you. They like you more to justify their investment.

You have nothing to lose by asking. The worst anyone can say is “No”.  You can live with that. If they say “No”, you’ve lost nothing, since you didn’t have it before you asked for it. However, they may say “Yes”. Or they may offer you valuable help in lieu of saying “Yes”.

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Many of us find it difficult to ask for what we truly want because we:

  1. Fear admitting we need help.
  2. Fear being refused or rejected.
  3. Think we know how our question or request will be answered.

Train To Be A Champion Asker By Regularly Asking For “Small” Things Such as:

  • Ask to have the special sale pricing on items, after the expiration date of the sale
  • Ask for upgrades when you shop
  • Ask for a more deluxe hotel room at no additional cost
  • Ask for better seats at the theater
  • Ask for lower credit card rates
  • Ask for more help doing household chores
  • Ask for more love, affection, understanding, sex

In asking, as in other things, nothing can take the place of experience. Start by frequently asking for small things. Get comfortable with asking. The more often you ask for things, the more quickly you’ll get comfortable asking. Soon you will feel comfortable asking for bigger and bigger things. Very often, the only thing a person has to do to get exactly what they want is just ask for it! So many wonderful things began simply because somebody asked a simple question.

But if you don’t ask, you may NEVER know if you could have had that job, marriage, love affair, dance, promotion, opportunity etc. If you ask, you will find out. You will enjoy closure one way or the other.

You have nothing to lose, since you didn’t have what you wanted before you asked for it. You might get it if you ask for it. The worst thing anyone can say is “No”.  You can live with that. After the “No”, you will emerge stronger and more confident and ready to continue asking, asking and asking again…

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