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Posts Tagged ‘peace of mind’

Many performance experts estimate success is 80% mindset and 20% activity. This makes sense. If hard work was the most crucial component, the most successful people, in every field, would be the hardest workers. Even the most casual observation demonstrates this is not true.
Our mindset has an enormous impact on every aspect of our lives from career to love.  A positive mindset paves our way to everything we want in life, while a negative one constantly drags us down, like a millstone, around our neck.
It is often said that you can adopt a new mindset in 21 days of doing daily positive affirmations, watching subliminal videos and/or similar activities. Is this true? Let’s look at an example.
You are 35 years old and you have a common mindset that “you weren’t meant to do anything big?”. Or your mindset could be “you’re basically a timid person”. Or some other limiting mindset. You know it isn’t compatible with the career and life you want.  You want to get a new one.
Score one for you. You awareness puts you well ahead of the majority, who never question their limiting mindset. But, can you replace it with a more positive one in just 21 days?
Not likely. The unwanted mindset has had 35 years to take deep root in both your conscious and subconscious  It has built fast, efficient neural pathways throughout your nervous system. It has become your automatic thought pattern. It is part of you.
Your mindset has also shaped your world. There is something called confirmation bias, which causes us to notice and attract people, information and experiences into our lives, which confirm our biases. Not only do your thoughts reflect the unwanted mindset. Your environment reflects it too.
This means you tend to read books, watch movies, listen to conversations, vote for politicians, belong to unions, have friends etc. who reflect your present mindset. Generally, your whole world confirms and reinforces it. It will not go away easily. To believe you can completely replace it in just 21 days is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
You Need a Scorched Earth Policy
If we are serious about adopting a new mindset, we need to adopt a scorched earth policy towards everything that fights against it. This means making changes in what we read and expose ourself to, how we spend our time and, above all, the people we hang out with.
Nothing has a stronger influence on a person than the people they spend the most time with. As Jim Rohn famously noted;“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” We can’t succeed in changing an unwanted mindset as long as we surround ourselves with people who reflect it.
Hanging out consistently with the wrong people drags us down, and makes it impossible to adopt an improved mindset. Hanging out with the right people will do much of the heavy lifting of adopting your desired mindset. Such people make positive change natural and almost effortless. So we need to be choosy about what we accept in our lives and even choosier about who we spend time with. This means ending or reducing relationships with people with unwanted mindsets.
It Takes Real Sustained Effort to Change Your Mindset
Truthfully, it could take two or three years of sustained effort to fully adopt a new mindset. Beginning to adopt a new mindset is like crawling on a dirt road versus zipping along on the fast, smooth superhighway of your old mindset.
You should expect slow progress, as your new mindset takes root. Most of your early victories will be small. Barely perceptible, in fact. Your  early changes whisper to you. They don’t shout. For instance, you find yourself thinking just a little more confidently than you used to. You find yourself being a little more proactive, without thinking about it. You find yourself seeking challenges you used to avoid.
Slowly your new mindset begins to compete with the old unwanted mindset. It scores a few victories here and there. You cheer it on. This inspires you to increase your efforts and determination. Change come in stages; bit by bit. Celebrate each small and large victory along the way! Of course, there is never a final destination, but the journey is much more fulfilling in every way!
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When you know precisely what your touchstone desire is, you may be able to experience it right now.  For example, suppose you seek a promotion at work because you feel earning more money will bring you more peace of mind.

However, it is quite possible that a promotion at work would result in more stress in exchange for higher pay. So you would not experience increased peace of mind, which is your real desire.

When you clarify that more peace of mind is your real desire, you may find better ways to enjoy increased peace of mind.  For instance:

  • Taking up meditation
  • Getting debt free
  • Starting a part time business

These things may enable you to experience your true desire and avoid things you don’t want, such as more stress

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A judgment free life is a free life.  One of the fastest paths to peace of mind is to release judgment. When we judge others, we judge ourselves. Our minds are not compartmentalized to deal kindly with ourselves and harshly with others. They will either deal kindly or harshly. Nor do our minds particularly differentiate us from others. That is mostly the work of our egos. When we release ourselves from judgment, we automatically begin to release others from judgment.

Judgments chains us to the past. In fact, virtually all the shackles and obstacles, that keep us away from what we desire, are our judgments. Some judgments are against us. Some are against others. It doesn’t really matter. None of them do us any good. When we free ourselves from judgments, good things automatically come our way in ever increasing abundance.

We need to remember that all judgments, no matter who or what they are supposedly against, are really against ourselves. For instance, if we judge a former job as “awful”, the fact remains that we had this “awful” job. Why did we take and hold this “awful” job? After all, nobody forced us to take this “awful” job. We took it of our own free will. That doesn’t make us sound too wise, dignified or discerning, does it?

If someone you know complained constantly about their “awful” job, what would your first thought be? Why did they take it in the first place? Why do they stay there?

If we judge a former friend or lover as a “backstabber”, what does that make us for having had such a friend or lover? Not too bright, desperate, needy? It certainly doesn’t say anything good about us. While our judgments may be against others, they invariably come back to bite us. To be truly free, we must release judgments against ourselves and others.

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You likely want to experience all the good things in life; including plenty of wealth and material abundance. This is good. You were meant to. However, the greatest blessing of all is peace of mind. There is NO substitute for peace of mind.  Not riches. Not power. Not glory. Not popularity. Nothing. The 2000 comedy remake “Bedazzled,” nicely illustrates this point.  At one point, the main character, Elliot Richards (Brendan Fraser), told his mischievous genie (Elizabeth Hurley) that he wants to be a very rich, powerful man with Elizabeth (a colleague he adores) as his wife.

The genie grants Richards his wish.  She turns Richards into a Colombian drug lord, whose beautiful wife hates him and collaborates with his partner, Raul, to betray him. Raul’s armed gang attack Richards…just as his wish of wealth and power is realized. Richards’ incarnated character dies in the firefight. The genie fulfilled Richards’ desire, but he had no peace.  Lack of peace made the fulfillment of his desire worse than worthless.

We do everything we do to feel better and to raise our self esteem. The first thing we need to feel good is peace. It is the most important blessing and it makes all other blessings worthwhile. As we increase our mastery of the Law of Attraction, we notice that we feel good more often.

The most important thing in life is how we feel right now.  The better we feel right now; the more good we attract into our lives. Our attractive power is set by how we feel. We attract people and situations into our lives which are consistent with our attractive power. That is why happy people attract other happy people and situations into their lives. Depressed people attract other depressed people and depressing situations into their lives etc. Feeling good more often is an enormous benefit of increasing our mastery of the Law of Attraction. The better we feel the higher our attractive power.

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